Stepping on Toes

In this complex world of tormented and unhappy people I find myself overwhelmed by "what-to-dos,"  when my world is on the surface quite luxuious, but inside very uncomfortable.  I retired from the medical field after 30 years of hard work, but peace giving comfort to the people who were not at their best.  I'm glad I went through it, because I learned a lot about people and myself.  I had the opportunity to empathize and find the best care in practical terms for those in need while on their path to wellness.  Since then those who are off the path and in darkness sometimes overwhelm me.  I must admit I do inappropriate measures and techniques to drive them away.  I just have my limitations and somehow find peace and gradual security with it.

Personally, I'm still glad it's over because, I found myself mentally and physically exhausted in so many ways.  On a mission to please others I blamed, neglected, and hurt myself when I found myself less than effective or even proficient.  Yes, I'm a pathetic perfectionist.  I am tormented, full of anxiety and have many sleepless nights, but I find myself through friends eyes a great support system that religion and philosophies are not the only answer for my overextended self. 

Giving up on my life and asking God to take it was only the beginning.  I told God that I am sorry and the weight on my shoulders lifted as a wave of peace rolled over me from head to toes.  I am not sure where this came from yet I believe God had something to do with it.  Relieved the next morning and waking up breathing in comfort occurs.  A change of attitude helps by allowing others to help and steering away from the hurtful ones at least clears the distress and gives me room to grow.

It is interesting how creative people "so they claim to be" have a tendency to copy others and run with it, when they are not the source of what it is.  These thieves who call their actions a compliment to the originator are fools thinking they have the keys to their joy and happiness.  I just sit back entertained at their shallowness and continue to write my creative expressions from my spiritual connectiveness.  You might do yourself a favor, respect your individuality,

and creative spirit as well.

Well, It's Going.

Did you ever find yourself in a management position that you just loved but were thrown a curve by upper management that the looks of you are just not good enough?  I mean if you drink alcohol sensibly with a meal or mingle well with men because you grew up with three brothers and find comfort with it, but it just doesn't look Christian enough to suit victims of abuse and radically conservative Christians?

Well, I here to tell you that this is still happening today.  I would like to see the day, when we are accepted as equals.  Yes, women and men are equal in rights is still an issue even in the most loving and welcoming of churches.  Victims of abuse are angry and can not fanthom the thought that some people are responsible in just the way they are.

I'm off to find a mature group of Christians and will not mingle with mentally ill people who can't see straight because their world is dark and will darken others in the process.

Life goes on!

WOW, has the last 4 months gone so slowly in times of lamentations and yet too quickly to get well into my projects.  I am making the best of it though as I connected with South Coast Storytellers Guild (as a member and storyteller) and the The Muckenthaler Cultural Center as a Production and Marketing assistant to write, edit, give input ideas and help pull their projects together.
I look forward to this summer full of events for storytelling and performances at The Muck.  It promises to be rich with insightful thoughts and laughs.  Each month this summer I'll be coached by a professional storyteller, Linda King Pruitt who was raised on Tall Tales from her dad, folk and fairytales from her mother, and Native American talesfrom her Choctaw grandmother. A storyteller, a storyteacher, Linda leads storytelling workshops throughout California.  She has been a resident artist with Fullerton's All the Arts for All the Kids Program since 1996, and is the storyteller for the Pacific Symphony's Class Act Program.  A member and State liason of the National Storytelling Network and South Coast Storyteller's Guild, Linda enjoys sharing the oral tradition with young and old.

A New Life Begins

When it comes to inspiration, to start and progress to finish in projects, there's something missing. Lost close family members these past five to seven years. Somehow time doesn't really matter anymore. Writing doesn't seem to fill the void. I'm in a stall mode mostly, yet still moving ever so slowly.

What is it that I need to go on? Get closer to God and supportive people? Surely, I've been working on that. Perhaps, it's just to let go of the pain in all of its hurtful ways and create a life of betterment that I've never before experienced or known. Yes, to be free, bold, and truthful!

Exclammations.

Everyone deserves to be loved and comforted. Some just don't believe that they deserve it. Oh my God! How lost can anyone be!

Thank you, world!

It's 12:37 PM and time to write. I need to write more regularly. It's a good Friday. After recently realizing that being tired of dealing with people some of us develop a better frame of mind to cope with life by first, make life as simple as possible and not just work to keep it from getting too complicated. Secondly, we accept life and let it flow into a growth mode rather than pushing for it to happen so much. Finally, when we get tired of dealing with people to thank God for pets, because they are friendly and don't give us any lip.

Seeing Dawn of the Day

Morning is wonderfully a quiet and peaceful time of day. Even before my juice and vitamins I wake up excited to start my day with in mind there's much to do. Yes, I'm an early morning riser. Isometrics and calming tea to tame my tensions mellows me to slow down and purposefully find my way to a better day and help me pace myself, when projects get overwhelming. I see the moon still quite full and the stirring inside me it creates fills me with this ambition but, oh, such nervous energy.

Ahh, it's a good life and it's tea, soothing jazz music, and isometrics time!