Stepping on Toes

In this complex world of tormented and unhappy people I find myself overwhelmed by "what-to-dos,"  when my world is on the surface quite luxuious, but inside very uncomfortable.  I retired from the medical field after 30 years of hard work, but peace giving comfort to the people who were not at their best.  I'm glad I went through it, because I learned a lot about people and myself.  I had the opportunity to empathize and find the best care in practical terms for those in need while on their path to wellness.  Since then those who are off the path and in darkness sometimes overwhelm me.  I must admit I do inappropriate measures and techniques to drive them away.  I just have my limitations and somehow find peace and gradual security with it.

Personally, I'm still glad it's over because, I found myself mentally and physically exhausted in so many ways.  On a mission to please others I blamed, neglected, and hurt myself when I found myself less than effective or even proficient.  Yes, I'm a pathetic perfectionist.  I am tormented, full of anxiety and have many sleepless nights, but I find myself through friends eyes a great support system that religion and philosophies are not the only answer for my overextended self. 

Giving up on my life and asking God to take it was only the beginning.  I told God that I am sorry and the weight on my shoulders lifted as a wave of peace rolled over me from head to toes.  I am not sure where this came from yet I believe God had something to do with it.  Relieved the next morning and waking up breathing in comfort occurs.  A change of attitude helps by allowing others to help and steering away from the hurtful ones at least clears the distress and gives me room to grow.

It is interesting how creative people "so they claim to be" have a tendency to copy others and run with it, when they are not the source of what it is.  These thieves who call their actions a compliment to the originator are fools thinking they have the keys to their joy and happiness.  I just sit back entertained at their shallowness and continue to write my creative expressions from my spiritual connectiveness.  You might do yourself a favor, respect your individuality,

and creative spirit as well.